Paternity Fraud strikes again, 2 of 3 children were not his!
Another member of the Hall of Victims.
I wish to keep all names anonymous because of legal reasons and protection for all parties involved. I am not proud of what happened and I am not ashamed either.
I just wish to get my story out there because I feel a sin against my soul and spirit has occurred as well against my daughter who I will love dearly until the day I die. It is my hopes that by telling my story it will help in the emotional healing process of others that have gone through similar circumstances.
I met a girl in 1982 and I dated her for five years from the age of 20 to 25. During this time I was working at UPS and Consolidated Freightways on the night shifts so that I could pay my way through college.
Just before graduating with my B.S.B.A (Emphasis in MIS (Computers) and Management). My fiance at the time announced to me that I got her pregnant. This was fine with me because we had a wedding date set and had plans for our life together. Although at this time I did not think it was a good relationship I figured "what the hell, let’s give it a shot." I felt that we could build a relationship because we had similar religious backgrounds and upbringing.
In September of 1988 I became a father to a little girl.
In May of 1990 I became father to my son.
In 1995, she had another girl. Who has Aspergers which is a high level autism.
The relationship with my wife was not good. I was not happy and I was aware that I wanted to get out but felt financially I could not. I thought the easiest thing to do was endure and hope that things would get better. Plus I loved the children and it was hard to think about leaving them. By the time my wife announced she was pregnant with the third child I new I wanted out of the relationship. We had been through counseling and she had said that she wanted to work on the relationship with me but she had lied. She had been seeing another guy for 2+ years and got pregnant with his kid and told me that it was mine. I was completely unaware of her extramarital relationships.
However, I always found it hard to believe that the third kid was mine. When you are truly in denial it’s hard to face your issues. Sometimes I think it’s easier to just plod along. Trust me! There is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow if you are brave enough to face your problems head on. I was very slow to face mine but I am glad that I finally did.
I participated heavily with the first two children in girl scouts, boy scouts, soccer, baseball, basketball, taking off work to go on field trips, family vacations…
I was up at the school frequently talking to teachers. I was very involved with the kids.
The youngest child born in 1995 I did not spend much time with because I was so busy with the other two children.
I think divorce time became reality in 1999. I actually started looking for my own place to live. I had been a computer contractor for over 12 years and I felt financially I could afford the move. I bought a condo in February of 2000 and was ready to sign all divorce paperwork in July of 2000. I decided to DNA test because I never felt comfortable with third child for many reasons.
This is the part of the story where I start to come out of DENIAL! No man wants to believe they got themselves into a position where they are victim of paternity fraud. I certainly never could fathom in a billion years that somebody would do this to a child and a father and I certainly never thought it would happen to me.